A few things about this photo:
This is a blanket I have been crocheting for the past several weeks.
I don’t hate crochet or yarn art. It’s just that I associate it with being at my most depressed because the depressed and scattered years were when I was into crochet and knitting the deepest.
So I have conflicted feelings when I pick up projects like this. In the heat of the moment, I tell myself that it’s good to do a project– that it might end up being a gift or something and it’s good to occupy my hands when my mind is down.
But really, crochet ends up being something to hide behind when my mind or body should be tending to other things. Time spent crocheting ends up being time felt as though it was spent treading water, not making forward progress. It’s not as though I make progress through my issues in my mind while I stitch….. I don’t. I tend to feel less depressed when there is less clutter around, less dishes, less laundry. Crochet pretty much guarantees all that comes to a standstill and becomes an excuse and a crutch to not get. stuff. done. Or get my body moving as it so desperately needs to do.
I don’t hate this blanket. It would be an awesome addition to our living room. It will end with its sixth skein though, the skein I am currently working on. I am just not interested in making bedspreads. There is no need to get that immersed in something that just feeds the depression. And I am not going to spend all of 2020 feverishly crocheting in the hopes of giving blankets as Christmas presents. Let’s face it– the last thing most people need are more blankets.
The other thing about this picture: it reminds me I sorely underestimate the usefulness of the Minolta 50mm 1.2. That lens was a pure gold Goodwill find two Christmases ago. It stays on my cameras far less than it ought to. Screw autofocus. There is plenty good reason this lens is ghastly expensive even today from places like KEH.
I have been coveting the 56mm 1.2 Fuji lens I sold I guess in 2017 to fund other lens purchases….probably the 16-55mm 2.8. But the ONLY thing that Fuji lens has that this Minolta lens doesn’t is autofocus. And that’s just laziness. The focus peaking makes focusing easier than would otherwise be. The Minolta will accomplish what I want, and the X-H1 adds image stabilization even the 56mm is without.
I have been craving buttery bokeh this morning. It is looking sunny for the first time in days this morning, and I am itching to get outside even if it is freezing out there. Plus, more often than not in my photography, I crave a more authentic film-like look, less sterile, more organic, and it doesn’t get more authentic than this lens for those purposes.
Note to self: You should definitely try living with just this lens for personal stuff for a good while. It might change your photography.
My workflow has changed, and my turnaround time is longer as a result. I used to guarantee 2 week turnaround for weddings and I will hold to that for current contracts, but for future it will be a 3-week turnaround. It’s because now I run everything through Capture One, Photoshop, and Topaz. It accomplishes the look I am going for and I love it– totally worth it. Who needs full frame, really? But it does require working on two different computers which means transferring photos and that takes time, plus the processing time.