Caroline Ellison Price

Sunday Lounging

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It’s Sunday afternoon, which means it’s time for Jared and me to hide out in my office (the only day of the week I can get Jared to come sit in here because he says the furniture is not comfortable).

Until Jared said he has had enough of sitting in the too-little-for-him chair, so, we moved upstairs. And then we had an argument over whether Jared should lie down on the bed to read his phone or whether we should both sit up (with me in favor of sitting up) because I knew that if he stayed lying down, he’d actually go to sleep which I don’t think is cool while we have a guest in the house.

Porter has piano lessons on Sunday afternoons and we try to keep everyone out of the family room for the hour. It mostly works and we don’t even have to keep the dogs pinned away in another room, thankfully.

It’s time for an overhaul of my office. The desk looks like a disaster has struck, with papers piling up since Christmas. There is still Christmas bagging on the sewing machine. Various camera gear is scattered throughout the room. I need to come up with a system and winter break is as good a time as any to do it.

At least we have clean clothes.

And, I am feeling much, much better. I’ll find out in a couple of weeks but I think the Synthroid adjustment was for the better because my resting heart rate is no longer 105+ bpm….more like the low 70s. Stupid resistance to thyroid hormone body.

I’ve signed up for two apps to go along with my Apple Watch. One is the Pillow app, which tracks my sleep quality. My sleep quality has been atrocious this week, which I am hoping is just the sickness/prednisone combo. Last night my sleep quality was rated 62% for the 7 hours it tracked before I charged the watch.

The other app is Ten Percent Happier, a meditation app. Which may work fine with Air Pods with the Apple Watch, but I don’t have those so I use my phone for the app. Oh well. The app is worth it and maybe the Air Pods will happen some day, though with my tragus earrings the in-ear earbuds are hard to finagle so not sure it’s worth it.

Budget Talk

Aside from the 2 paid-for apps, this has been the month of spending no extraneous money. We did our taxes a month earlier than anticipated. I also went overboard on home decor and supplies in January (as well as us purchasing two smart watches), which put a major crunch on the budget.

I am obsessed with budgets and forecasting. I adore YNAB for this, and use it both for our personal accounts and for my business account. It takes me hours upon hours of work and it’s not exactly how the program is designed to be used, but I know when we can theoretically have all our consumer and car debt paid off. I know when we could theoretically have a full funded 6-month emergency expenses fund if we play our cards right. I also know what year we could theoretically pay off the house if all stay healthy and we have no major catastrophes, which isn’t exactly life. But if it does go well, 2032 is the magic year, just in time for Jared to retire a couple of years later.

Disney and Universal

Our tax refund this year is dedicated to Disney and Universal tickets for early June, which stinks because I REALLY want granite countertops like yesterday. And to paint the deck, which has been on the to-do list since last year. But none of it stinks enough to go into debt just for Disney, which is crazy expensive and I don’t understand how all people don’t make that a once or twice in a lifetime trip. I really don’t see the appeal. Staycations are as great to me as actual vacations for actually recharging me, unless it is to St. Simons. Though I’d love to see London and Paris again. But my kids want to do Disney and Universal so I will do it (once) for them. I will also be prepared to hide out in the hotel room for a good portion of the trip if need be because 3 other grownups are going on the trip, thank God. I hate crowds. I hated them when I was a kid and I hate them even more now. I anticipate going out early and then hiding out in the afternoons and evenings.

I have also become a not-fun person in my middle age. So, there is that. I might have only ever been a low-to-moderately fun person to begin with.

Depression Check In

There are two photography educational opportunities that I have dodging signing up for. It’s ridiculous and there are limited opportunities I know for these sorts of things and I need to break out of my rut. It’s the depression, because I know it’s not the love of photography fading. But as is evidenced by the severe lack of posting photos, there’s not a lot of photography going on right now. It’s time to change that.

Plus, there’s a brand new bar that I can go photograph this week.

Miscellany

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The days are getting longer even though it’s not much warmer out yet, but I can hear my cameras calling my name. Next winter, I need to rent some outsourced studio space or something so that I can keep going year round. I also need to up my game of taking pictures of the kids…. They hate posing but we also don’t buy school photos and they are all changing so much right now.

I have been obsessed with real estate the last few weeks. It’s ridiculous. I said I was done looking at houses and was going to love on my own. But the looking habit is there and every day there are new listings and….and…

And I have driven my one of my best friends, an agent, to distraction, I think, with my constant texts. Thankfully, she is far more level-headed about these things than me.

Last night, she reminded me that the beautiful listing I was looking at was in trailer park city.

Last week, she went with us to look at a for sale by owner that is literally going to collapse someday due to foundation issues, even though it is a beautiful house.

I really do love my house. And it is true…. when I get like this it is because I need to work on my house. Both tables need clearing and my office is a disaster as I write this. And the dogs need baths because they are stinking up the place.

This has also been the week of the plague. Wednesday a bad acne spot appeared on my right cheek and my knees were pretty achy. By Thursday morning, I was having trouble navigating the stairs by myself and I hurt all over and there were spots all over my body and I had a low-grade fever. We still don’t know what it is, but steroids are clearing it up thankfully and I don’t hurt anymore and the spots are going away. I spent Valentine’s Day keeping a distance from everybody but I’m better now. Still skipping church tomorrow just in case, but I really don’t think I’m contagious because no matter how much I tell Oliver I cannot cuddle, he doesn’t really listen very well to that.

We got Porter registered for his 9th grade classes next year. It’s sobering sending a 13-year old to high school but he is so mature for his age– and size-appropriate to the rest of the high school population– so it seems like the natural next step. I am not in the least bit sad about it– I’m excited.

I just can’t wish for my babies to be babies forever. To wish for that to me would be to wish that they were dependent on me forever and the whole point of parenting to me is to raise them to not need me. And when they demonstrate in little ways that they are beginning to navigate the world on their own, that shows Jared and I have done our job, and that makes me genuinely happy, not at all sad. I like to look back on pictures of when they were all little and think back on those times occasionally, but I would never wish to live in them forever because to do that would be to deny my kids their growth and their own lives and adulthoods. And I desperately want them to live into their own grown-up potential. I certainly haven’t been a perfect mom and their childhoods haven’t been picture-perfect. But Jared and I have done our best along with our families and the boys are each good people.

Time to Up My Game

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I don’t talk about it very often anymore because it hasn’t been on my mind in a long time. But when I was pregnant with O I ended up being diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS.

But then the thyroid crap happened, and I just chalked up the POTS diagnosis to the thyroid crap.

Now, for the past six months or so I have been extremely sedentary. Like going to bed at 9 pm and sleeping till noon the next day sedentary. At first it started out of boredom because the boys were back in school, last August. But now, it’s just habit and I think my circadian rhythm has adjusted to need that much sleep. I tried hard to get up at 7 am this morning and it just. wasn’t. happening. I fell asleep again and the next thing I knew it was 11:45 am.

The cardiologist, with the POTS diagnosis, wanted me walking a minimum of an hour a day. So, I know the answer is more activity. And, probably way less coffee. *sigh*

All of this is to say it is time to up my game and activity level. I know I would feel better. I’ve renewed the fitness center membership so that is no longer an excuse. The pool is even open again so we can all go and I can work out while Jared has the kids in the pool.

The Apple Watch is a blessing and a curse…..no, it is really a blessing. I can keep track of my heart rate and activity levels etc. in a way I couldn’t before. But dang it, it is taking away my excuses to be lazy, too.

Lazy isn’t cool, though. And, I am all about cool.

Lies

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Depression strikes again.

And it isn’t even like it is a blanket thing. Like, I can put on a good act if I have to. But it is easier not to.

Sleeping till noon doesn’t help. I nearly got up when I woke up at 6:30 this morning, but I missed that awake window and the next thing I knew it was 12:20 in the afternoon. It is a terrible habit. I know it.

Nothing is even wrong. Like, there is nothing wrong with my life at all. This is how I know depression lies.

Funky crazy dreams. Last night I dreamed I was on the phone with my ex-best friend of 17 years, maid of honor at our wedding, the one who dumped me in 2008. And she was all apologetic and stuff which is how I know it’s a dream because I know she is not sorry– she would rather just forget I ever existed. And I was even depressed in my dream.

It sucks to have a broken brain.

Goal for the day: Hold the camera as much as possible. Whether I take pics or not. Camera = therapy.

On Falling In Love With My House

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I was restless. Jared and I both were, actually. We get that way when we are bored.

So, we looked around at houses. We even actually set up appointments to look at two.

At the end of the day, maybe a master-on-main is overrated. We can always install a lift on the stairs if mobility ever becomes a problem. Either we were going to sacrifice entertaining space, location, or two boys were going to end up sharing a room. And either way, we were going to stretch our budget far beyond what is really comfy.

Our real estate agent is also one of my best friends, and thankfully she was real with us at every step even as she was willing to show us other things. In the end, I have decided to work on my house until I fall in love with it.

Up first was the kitchen and coffee bar, which I have already talked about. The first floor bathroom (also known as the Harry Potter bathroom because it is under the stairs) was a dark blue that depressed me, especially with the single can light overhead. It doesn’t show as well in photos as it does in person, but I am currently going over the blue with the same gold sponge paint pattern and it is going to look really really nice and lighten up the space. No pics because it isn’t done yet….I ran out of paint and paint tape midproject and I plan to resume the project today or tomorrow.

Family Room

The family room was really the most problematic and a source of my unrest because I just couldn’t figure out how to orient the furniture. The last few weeks, it has been the ongoing project that wasn’t finished until yesterday. First up, we re-oriented the entire living room so that the center of the room is the focal point, with the couch on one side and the recliner and rocking chair on the other side. I had been on the hunt for a leather recliner for Jared to match the leather couch. But my Mama and Daddy gifted us with a beautiful 8×11 Wayfair rug that I picked out, which tied together basically all the colors in the room, including the green recliner and the pink rocking chair. So, now I am in a way less hurry to replace the recliner, which is really in fine shape and in better shape than the one we gave away.

The piano was added to the room from the dining room. The paint on the coffee bar helped make sense of my grandmother’s antique harp picture above the piano, which otherwise didn’t fit with its gold theme and frame even though I love it because I have known it all my life– Minnie gave it to Nannie when she married GaGa. On the other side of the room, we hid the networking and other cords under the square foyer table, in the corner of the room. The side table that lived for a while in the foyer got moved to the bay window.

Yesterday, the Rough Cut Designs coffee table was delivered. And with that, Oliver’s wooden rocking chair (that has been giving him splinters anyway) has retired. He was sad but I told him that we would save it forever until he has his own little boy or girl and refinish it and I would give it back to him when he has his own house and that made him really happy. And besides, his white desk is still in here, and is more practical for the space anyway.

The wall behind the TV has some canvases of my nature pictures. Jared’s Mama’s watercolors are on either side of the fireplace. When I redecorated the coffee bar, the wall hanging that was over the coffee bar before got moved to above the fireplace.

So….now I am in love with our family room. Now, it feels completely like ours. I really struggled with how to orient the furniture until Dena, my real estate friend, suggested moving the TV to its current wall, and moving the furniture to focus on the center of the room. That was key to everything. Now, even though the fireplace and TV are on opposite sides of the room, the room feels like it makes sense.

Future Plans

Next up is finishing up the bathroom painting job and cleaning up the mess I made on the mirror in there. Then, I want to add some molding around the mirror to give it a more finished look.

Then, I plan to replace all the light switch and wall plug face plates, at least on the first floor. I am thinking a polished brass, to go with the gold theme I’ve set up on the coffee bar and kitchen. Next, brass patterned vent covers for the floor vents on the first floor. I think I want to pick up one more wall hanging for the kitchen and a small end table similar to the ones in each bay window for the dining room.

Granite or quartz countertops are coming to the kitchen and coffee bar, but that will have to wait for the Spring of 2021 with that tax refund because 2020’s refund is already committed to our Universal and Disney trip this summer. Once the countertops are in, the first floor will be done.

Upstairs, I want to add crown molding to the master bedroom. Also… after living with no ceiling fan in the master bedroom for nearly a year, it is not practical. I want matching ceiling fans in all the bedrooms, so that will come after the countertops. Thankfully the current ceiling fixture was only $20 and can be repurposed in the closet in Oliver’s room.

I’ve discussed maybe painting the boys’ rooms similar shades of their rooms, but they aren’t excited about the idea. So, that may just be a no-go until they are older or out on their own. At some point in the future, I want to replace all the carpet in the bedrooms with hardwood, leaving no carpet in the house. But that is a long ways down the road and no hurry whatsoever.

Random Health News

The Apple Watch is already practical in ways I had not anticipated. Keeping track of my heart rate has shown that my heart rate is too high. Which probably means my Synthroid needs to be adjusted. It’s probably why I lost my cool last week. I already have blood work and a doctor appointment scheduled. My heart rhythm is fine, it’s just that even when I am sitting doing nothing, my heart rate gets as high as 120+ bpm.

The watch has also confirmed that I am a really light sleeper, which is something we already pretty much knew. I don’t get much REM sleep or much deep sleep.

I renewed my fitness center membership yesterday, and I’m glad especially with knowing that my heart rate is already high that I’ve got something that I can continuously track heart rate with. But I am a little concerned that I should wait to go back until I have been to the doctor. We’ll see.